u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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