Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
