hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
barbara walters just said penis...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
