that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
