He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
