god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
