Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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