We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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