He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
