Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
