so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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