yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My dick has a subreddit
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
