She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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