Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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