Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
