I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
