I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
