is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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