Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
