ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She announced her abortion via fbk
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
