I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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