Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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