I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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