How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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