Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
