; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
