Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
