I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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