Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You were trust falling into bushes
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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