dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
