The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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