We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
