he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
