I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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