If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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