i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
