My nipple is on Facebook.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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