p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
