She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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