I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
