I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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