you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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