Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
operation harelip BJ is a go
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
