So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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