i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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