Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
