I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
