I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
