Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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