So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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