First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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